1. |
Fear and Trembling
02:55
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Though it may haunt us and break our hearts, death cannot tear us apart. I’ll wait for an omen, a sign that I’m chosen. Then I’ll crack that reapers safe with my bare hands. A trespass. My horror was holy. When I robbed two early graves I was sick with grief, bruised deep. The desert was lonely. I either took a leap of faith or I jumped ship. I admit I offered my only just to crash those pearly gates. Hands up. Heaven’s been raided. Creator, created. I am sorry, its not right but you are mine to sacrifice. I was hopeless, I was tired and we all kill to survive. Sacrifice. Kill to survive. Though it may haunt us and break our hearts, death cannot tear us apart.
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2. |
Glitches
02:45
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So long to young love I’ve anchored my heart. Farewell to small joys I’ve burned down the bar. I’m changing my name so I don’t do no harm. Some say it’s vanity, some say its charm. No levels, still the same old devils. Frightened of fear, a servant of time. Kidnapped the queen, I have angered the hive. Snuffed out the stars with celestial winds. Ended a cycle that started again. I stopped going out, they kept coming in. Was I saving my soul or saving my skin? No levels, still the same old devils. Can’t hold it close, can’t let it go. Prisons in basements in slick model homes. I’m just a day-tripper on sacred terrain. My transformation went from mangled to tame. I don’t feel different but I don’t feel the same. I’m afloat with an ear to the ground. I built a fortress with some books and a phrase. I felt some heat so I came out of the haze. I saw the end and I was truly afraid. I have begged but I’m still not allowed. It’s a trap. Lay the bait, catch the rat. Flew home and left the unknown in the lurch. Kept finding bodies, I called off the search. Went to a hymn from a funeral dirge. Church in the hospital, dog in the church. No levels, still the same old devils. Shepherd me back. This time I know I don’t know nothing, I’m not in control. Mindful but gutless. Theres no need to panic.
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3. |
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Girl, what are you scared of? All will be lost anyway. I see no good reason to wait. I will meet you. There’s a light where you go. Don’t let a missed exit haunt you. There will be no air to breathe, a helplessness like you would not believe. I won’t blame you. Theres a light where she goes. All is right where she goes. Stay if you think we could pull through, but my curse is the strongest there is and karma collects what is his. I try to plead with your machines. I’m at the feet of your machines. Tell me anything at all. If its a false alarm then forget what I said. If the snake won’t bite then I take it all back. If theres wine in that bottle then bring me a glass. I’ll eat crow, it don’t taste so bad. I try to plead with your machines. I’m at the feet of your machines. Tell me anything at all. The sun is out. Out cold. When everybody gets a universe they do what they want. I’m gonna need another universe, I tore mine apart. When everybody gets a universe they can do what they want. I tore mine apart. I tore mine apart. Tried to speak to machines. Tried to plead with machines. Pull me from the ledge, I hear them. They’re praying.
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4. |
Two Summers
03:22
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I’ve widowed every woman from the waitress to the queen. Been in and out of wedlocks with an exoskeleton key. I may perish unwept but at least I’ll never swing. I ain’t in your crystal ball. You wont remember me but you’ll remember our song. You got premonitions, talked to spirits, they approved. That just might mean you’re lying or them spirits lied to you. Nothing more is perfect but nothing less will do. I ain’t in your crystal ball. You looked at what the light shined on not where its shining from, didn’t you? You find what you need only when you need to find it. Yea, I did it too. I knew I was alive because I used to want to die but not anymore. Now I’m trying to be but old hearts wont let me sleep. I hear them in the floor. Standing at the altar with your leather jacket on. Fucked up on some new pills, got you feeling twenty-one. My friends are always pissed off, all your friends dance just for fun. I ain’t in your crystal ball. I wont be here for that hang over but I’ll come running to raise a glass. Where’d I get my nerve? I thought you never ask. We clean the slate just to write mistakes, an old flame you cant blow out. You filled the cup, you picked me up, now you’ve got to put me down.
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5. |
Awful Lot
03:31
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Explosion from the bottom of a well. Thin walls harsh wind. I tried to tap a deeper, brighter vein but I’m back in old skin again. Pale stone. I am out of blood. Left in the chapel by a thousand other things I could have loved but barely touched. We used to talk to god with acid on our tongues. We were divine when we were drunk, before the world put out the fire and fed us crumbs. Chasing bended light, I went missing on the roads that wind through the corners of your eyes. Barbarians. Guard yourself with laughter, numb the meaning with the word. Barbarians. We tamper with a down machine but know it cannot work. Barbarians. We had such promise until we broke our promises. Why can’t it be the year two thousand? I want to live in the year two thousand when I was dumb enough to truly believe. Why can’t it be the year two thousand? I want to live in the year two thousand when having nothing meant having everything. No one is taking my calls anymore. I can never get through. Acknowledge me you motherfuckers, I am cold and I’m blue. You savages. Barbarians.
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6. |
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I’m joining a cult. Cut off my hair, clean out my head, fill me with song. Scrap obstructed eyes. Leave my friends behind. Say I’m free. Say I’m free. Say I’m free and I am. Reverse the poles on the magnet. Pierce the armor of habit. I’m joining a cult. Cut off my hair, clean out my head, fill me with song. Willing surrender to persist. Empty stare and dumb shit eating grin. Teach me to breathe, don’t let me think, break me in half. Teach me to breathe, don’t let me think. Teach me to breathe, don’t let me think, wipe out my past, break me in half. We’re gonna get carried away. New clothes! New home! New job! New god! From faith to doubt, I’m hard wired to short-out. From parts unknown to streets paved in gold. Left on the rooftop, token in hand. I’m stuck here in neutral. I don’t understand. Drink up. Teach me to breathe, don’t let me think, wipe out my past, break me in half. I’m joining a cult.
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7. |
It Remembers
03:43
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I brought a rumor when I came down from the mountain that spread quicker than the fire in your eyes. Heaven won’t let me in. I took my medicine. Salt water couldn’t quench my thirst at the fountain. Burn slow. Theres no rush. You’re right. Always right. I want oblivion all the time, mindless son of the eternal shine. It snuck up like a desert wind. I got a feeling I wont feel again. When faith abandons me I hope it does it honestly. I still howl like an animal in the darkness and I’m reminded by the blood on my clothes. I can’t stand what I’ve become. I’m shivering to spite the sun. We come together and we’re overwhelmed by the loneliness. I want oblivion all the time. Burn slow. Theres no rush. You’re right. Always right. I thought I settled my debts that night on the ride home. But I have still got hell to pay.
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8. |
Petal
02:59
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Help. It has gone black. The sky is black. Earth is frozen and black. The moon is black. Snow is black. Her eyes when open are black. Light is black. Leads are black. The wires that run from them are black. Stars are black. Time is black. But the thought of death is soft and clean and beautiful and white. It’s the purest of the drugs. It’s everything at once. What if meaning never comes? And I was just someone to fuck? All of life, beginners luck? What becomes of all creation if the smallest prayer is firmly answered “no”? The greatest of the floods. Theres a vacuum where the brightest future was. I’d better warm up my gun in case love is not enough. Sometimes silence is all silence is. I was wrong. Now I’m lost. What haven’t I done? What have I done? What haven’t I done to deserve a cold war on all sides? It’s so bleak all the time. “Stay with me. You’re alone in the center of hell. Just be. ”The longest winter I have ever seen. From hospital to hospital. Repeat. First I need to save the life of god so that god can come and save me from myself. If I have to walk alone I’m giving up. I cant stay here knowing love is not enough. Untimely ripped into this world I was born again as a girl.
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9. |
The Coin Has A Say
02:47
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I feel alright but I’m buried alive. Nothings healed, just covered by time. I want to pray but I think I’m possessed. Constant cardiac arrest. I’m standing in the way again. I can’t see the road ahead. I have taken too much. Once a ladder now a crutch. When all of it is closing in, stop fighting and hold your breath. So much self-love, so much hate. Fuck these people. Fuck this place. But to an amateur set of eyes, me and the lord look a lot alike. I might even have a brilliant shine and the strength to make it right. Unbroken, unscarred. Back ain’t weak, hands ain’t hard. It’s the first night in town. Our first night in town. Rain comes down, bridge goes out. The same way its always did. Now that I’m yours, discover me. Now that I’m yours, unbury me. Now that I’m yours, amaze me. Go ahead and save me. Go ahead. When all of it is closing in, stop fighting and hold your breath. Don’t take it back, you’re all that I have. A new goddess emerged from the mist and took the blade from my wrist. Don’t blink back out. I will aimlessly wander this wasteland guided only by a sickness, not a purpose. I can’t go back to what I was: Metallica without the drugs. A faith healer without the plant. Theres no home for a hollow man.
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10. |
Religion Of Speed
05:09
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I can’t continue on without a sign. One wing to haul the weight of only one third of an eye. The voice I’m leaning into has been thrown. When all the meat is stripped away I’m chewing on the bone. I’m condemned until the moment I forget that I haven’t learned a goddam thing yet. My soul is sticking out like a talon through a shell. You can wait until the rapture I will hightail it to hell. Water everywhere but no water fit to drink. I’ve got endless proof and I don’t know what to think. Nothing but time, not a minute left to spare. Gallons of fuel I cant get anywhere. When all I am is a stone that says the name I had and the years that I had been, the quiet depths and the measured steps won’t echo like the shriek of riot did. Sever the anchor you drag or be frozen at the stake. Choke down all the prey in your path before you become the prey. No one likes a company man. Nothing but a snake. Look at my war its the prettiest thing alive. I traded it for sanity now all you see is mine. Open the throttle, feel the thunder in the sails. Pick up the scent of fear and follow the trail. When all I am is a stone that says the name I had and the years that I had been, the quiet depths and the measured steps won’t echo like the shriek of riot did. I can’t move the dredge without heat. Still water of a puddle and the ocean never meet. I’ve wandered off a path into a storm. A trance into a fury, a mantra for a sword. Doomed until I recall how to fire up an engine that has stalled. I would trade what I have lost for the things I have left. Some clarity just to see darkness best? My flower in your barrel hasn’t stopped the slaughter yet. So spent we can’t be saved. We lost sleep but we found our way. Sharpen your ax against the road. Don’t hold out hope. Such courage pulls us down. We ride on. Our songs refuse the grave. These beating hearts make violent waves. Push the pedal right through the floor. Want so much more.
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11. |
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Creeping up a wall of glass, I’m entirely made of sand. Lurching up. Feeding back. What the canyon wants the canyon gets. This canyon craves an apology and a pound of flesh. I thought I felt. I thought I saw. I thought I knew. So much chatter. Let there be shade. Un-illuminate. Nothing will change if you don’t lead with your shadow. Let there be shade. Un-illuminate. Exhale the plague. Cloud your vision. An unpainted corner, my kingdom come. Silence tells me I can’t escape it. Now we write our names on the moon in blood. I have set us back twenty centuries. All the letters sent with no address. Is he talking to or talking down to me? They’ll kill us if they have the chance. I hear their conversations. They’d kill us if they had the chance. I’ll be the first to take it. I still feel like someone is watching, though I’m not sure if that someone is listening. It don’t matter much to my suffering because I know for a fact no one’s answering. Let there be shade. Un-illuminate. Nothing will change if you don’t lead with your shadow. I was on the shoulders of leviathans but I couldn’t see through the fog of anger. I failed myself like I did before. My work is lost. All my reckoning. Back to sin. Back to shame. Back into the quicksand. Guarding an empty house. I have lost everything I had found. Sorrow will overcome.
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12. |
1977
02:37
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Melt the glaciers inside my veins. Thaw my eyes, crack the glaze. Trapped under ice at a fathomless depth but I know I exist I can see my breath. Come up to the surface, the ice age has passed. Hallelujah it is over at last. A new day will follow a nuclear blast. Hallelujah it is over at last. Crossed the great divide to sleep where most would die. Now I’m on the lam for a fire theft. I wasn’t here, we never met. Our shadows spread forever but they don’t weigh anything. Shake it off. I can’t ever go back but I will take it when I leave. I’ll be waiting with a suitcase when the devil comes for me. One if by land, two if by sea. Life isn’t ours we are property of life. Take what you can when you can while you can. Stare at the sun. Look directly into the sun. It’s over at last.
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13. |
Map Change
04:56
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Am I the only one that saw the sun burn out? The locusts keep their rhythm. My watch has broken down. I wake up and take on water, sink to the peak of despair. What I need is a cigarette. No more prayers. The planets unaligned. We have saints without a shrine. A storm comes and the city’s abandoned. The ship is going down with the captain. I am the man that sank atlantis. The bottom is not the lowest we get. Further down still the dark’s absolute. Further down than that its only me and you. I assure you that hell is not a myth. We both vacation there. Hell is not a myth. We spend each winter there. No one can prepare. A storm comes and the city’s abandoned. The ship is going down with the captain. I am the man that sank Atlantis. The bottom is not the lowest we get. I thought I knew the best part of the secret: the truth is the thing we forget. The glory I had witnessed was just a sleight of hand. These hearts cannot be salvaged, these bones cannot withstand. I have either been forgotten or I was never seen. Now I’m in the negative space between. I weighed down the earth, through the stars to the pavement. I’ve weighed down the earth. No use trying to save it. I’ve weighed down the earth, through the stars to the pavement. I’ve weighed down the earth. Not sure I can take it. I’ve fallen out of frame. A strangled, distant flame. Clenched in the jaws of anguish are only godless men. Chaos is drawn to silence like life is drawn to death. The dusk is so much clearer than the dawn had ever been. I’m a ghost, and yet I’ve weighed down the earth. Through the stars to the pavement. I’ve weighed down the earth. No use trying to save it.
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14. |
Skin Without Bones
02:31
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15. |
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